When my crush spoke to me in the 9th Grade I was shy.
When my parents asked to wish those who came home, I was shy.
And similar new, awkward, or discomforting situations I have been shy, and fortunately I wasn’t the only one.
Considering how many people claim to be shy, it’s surprising to see how little they know about shyness.
But, what’s wrong with being shy?
Actually, Nothing. Because a research states that shyness is 30 percent due to our genes, and 70 percent due to our response to the environment.
So, what is shyness?
It is nothing but an unpleasant yet normal emotion that makes a person feel self-conscious, apprehensive, and awkward, especially in new situations or while interacting with strangers. The shy person fears being judged negatively by others.
Hence, shyness is less about what you think about yourself and more to do what you think others think of you.
Though, Self-confidence is commonly believed to be the cure for shyness. But it isn’t. The key is focusing attention away from this self-absorption, i.e. worry over how people will perceive or judge us, and onto others – especially in a situation of helping people.
However, the good news about being shy is; we can get over it.
And. Here’s how
1. Don’t bring your shyness to others attention.
– Don’t advertise your shyness.
– It may not be as explicitly known as you think.
2. Don’t label yourself as “shy”.
– Each one of us is unique.
– Let yourself be defined as a unique individual, not a single trait.
3. Take Deep Breaths.
– You may feel shy when you feel nervous about something.
– Take deep breath, it helps you calm down and think clearer as well.
– It also helps you feel more confident about what you are about to do.
4. Meet New People.
– It helps you become more confident.
– Approaching strangers and starting a conversation with them can be difficult.
– Start doing it, you would like doing this more often.
5. Visualize Yourself.
– Don’t underestimate the power of the mind.
– Creatively visualize yourself being confident speaking in public, talking to your crush, meeting strangers, achieving your career goals and many others.
– It helps you gaining the confidence that you need.
6. Plan for it to go well.
– Shyness is characterized by a strong tendency to overestimate negative scrutiny.
– You always fear that others will evaluate you in a negative way.
– Think positive. Keep thinking that everything will go well. It reduces anxiety.
7. Be always curious.
– Be genuinely interested in others.
– It allows to talk freely.
8. Soften your inner dialogue.
– If your inner dialogue is very harsh, it makes you assume that others will judge you in the same way.
– This causes a lot of emotional damage.
– Have an inner voice that acts as your own best friend.
9. Name it.
– Make a list of all your jitters and worries.
– Name them, plan how you’re going to eliminate them, and move forward.
10. Remember that one bad moment doesn’t mean a bad day.
– It may be a big deal only for you, as you spend a lot of time inside your own head.
11. Shut down your imagination.
– You feel disapproval or rejection even when it isn’t there.
– Your brain tends to distort experiences, to think that your shyness ruined an entire event.
– When chances are it wasn’t a big deal to anyone but you.
12. Stare it down.
– Sometimes when you’re scared, the best thing to do is to face it head on.
– If you’re frightened, just stare it down and lean into it.
So, which hack you think will work for you. But, remember no matter which of these tactics works for you, shyness is a behavior you can change. It is a learned behavior, not an inherent characteristic.
